Terrible App Idea of the Week: 'Bang With Friends'

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A Facebook app that you'll regret taking home

I get a lot of pitches from start-ups that are hoping for coverage from the tech community. Sometimes I am astounded by these pitches — not because I desperately want to write about the company but because of how far-fetched it seems that denizens of the world will actually want to use the services offered. When I got a pitch late last year for an app named “Blurt,” I decided to start a column dedicated to the worst idea to float into my inbox on a vaguely weekly basis.

(What’s Blurt? It’s like Twitter for audio, allowing you to broadcast 10-second clips of sound. Its website features videos of truly terrible use cases, including one woman broadcasting a plea for a “Romeo.” Josh Constine of TechCrunch summed up my feelings on the app: “Everyone hates voicemail. Let’s build a social network around it!” And, of course, it’s been upstaged in a big way by Twitter’s Vine, which includes audio and an easier-consumed-online video component.)

The latest app to impress me with how insanely ridiculous it is: Bang With Friends. It’s like Words With Friends, without the letter tiles and clothes. This is an app dedicated to discovering which of your Facebook friends is DTB (Down To Bang). The app promises to “anonymously” find friends who want to Poke (or get Poked) in real life. You sign up and choose which of your contacts you’re willing to put on your “Friends With Benefits List.” If they sign up and put you on their list, the app connects you and provides explicit instructions as to what to do. It claims to be “completely private and discreet until both friends are down to bang.” The massive media frenzy around an app that transforms Facebook into one big Craigslist Casual Encounters section inspired an immediate knock-off site, “Bang With Professionals“ — forLinkedIn, obvs.

So why is this a horrible idea?

Despite claims that it’s anonymous, private, and discreet, it’s not really. As a general principle, anything that involves signing up with your Facebook account doesn’t usually fall into those three categories. As pointed out by Katie Hearney at Buzzfeed, Facebook lets you see which of your friends have expressed an interest in Facebook-enabled banging when you go to add the app. See here:

Why you might not want to bang with friends
“It’s not really “anonymous” when your Facebook friends can see that you’re out there trawling for sex, is it?,” writes Hearney. Caveat: if you want the world to know you’re interested in casual banging, this is the app for you.
Facebook already has the “Poke,” which essentially provides this function already. (Yes, if you get Poked by a random friend, it’s his or her awkward digital way of expressing interest in ~~banging~~ getting to know you better.)
The app’s creators don’t even want to be associated with the app. The “three college-aged males” behind BWF are remaining anonymous and admit they created the site in two hours “with a lot of Red Bull and vodka.” Do you trust these men with the information that you’re up for casual sex with the random people that populate your Facebook friends, and do you further trust them to keep that information secure? Practice safer sex trawling, friends!
If you want to converse with makers of said app, their official email address is “pimpin@bangwithfriends.com.” This leads me to suspect the anonymous males behind the app are younger than college-aged.
This app is a poor substitute for going to a bar with an attractive friend, having a few drinks and seeing what happens. Since you already know each other, this is fairly easy to accomplish. The app would be far more useful were it “Bang With Friends of Friends.”
Finally, it’s worth noting that Bang With Friends is hiring. Since I don’t imagine this app is going to be around for long, any job there is likely to be a quickie on yourresume. This company might not be right for you if you take offense at sexual assault jokes, though, as they invite you to send your application to “gang@bangwithfriends.com.”